How I found Horror….for women in horror month

A short introduction of how I found Horror

I was 8 years old, it was a sunny afternoon. I was walking home from school with some friends when my Mum and Dad shouted me over from their car, they were going to visit my Grandma and they had missed me walking out of the school. I started to cross the busy road, when I misheard my friends’ older sister say, “go now”. I started to cross and was inadvertently hit by a car, I bounced across the bonnet and into the windscreen, hitting the road with a bang. My school satchel went one way and one of my shoes went another. The road was silent, my little brother was screaming in the back of the car and my Mum and Dad looked on in obvious horror, I stood up off the floor and limped over to my Mum and Dad in shock. My poor friend at the other side of the road had thought I was dead! The lady driver was screaming, and my Mum had to calm her down!! I got into the car and then decided I couldn’t move my legs, my Dad drove us to the hospital where I was checked over, they said I was lucky and didn’t have anything other than a huge bruise across my hips and legs, and arms where my tiny 8 year old body had impacted with the car and then the road.

That night every time I closed my eyes I saw a car driving towards me and I would sit up panicking. It was around the late 80s when this happened, so I don’t really think they treated PTSD very well back then! I went downstairs to be comforted by my parents, I sat on my Dads knee and cried. I know you are thinking “what has this got to do with Horror?” but this day was the first time I was introduced to Freddy Krueger.

A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET, Robert Englund, 1984, (c) New Line/courtesy Everett Collection

 

Let me explain! My parents had friends round, and they happened to be watching Nightmare on Elm Street on video, because I had appeared in the room so upset, the film was still playing. I remember as I was sat cuddled up on my Dads knee, calming down and wiping my tears away, I sneakily began watching it, and I wasn’t scared, I was intrigued. I think once my Dad realised I was starting to notice what was on TV he said ‘this film isn’t for your eyes Sarah’ and I responded with “its ok, I’m not scared I quite like it!” obviously the grown ups laughed, and I was taken back to bed

 

By age 10, along with my best friend Antony I was watching every horror film I could get my hands on, back in the day of video stores, we used to beg our parents to let us pick a scary film to watch, as long as they weren’t ‘rude’ they agreed (probably just to shut us up) and gradually we began to watch all the classics; Hellraiser, Poltergeist, more Nightmare on Elm Street, Amityville, Pet Semetary…to name but a few!!! Then one day, a man we referred to simply as ‘The Video Man’ who used to drive around with a van full of videos, park up and charge for rental, and come back the following week to swap around, appeared with a ‘banned’ film. It was called ‘Evil Dead’

My friends Grandma happened to be babysitting that night, so we set the video up, fizzing with excitement and apprehension about what we were about to watch, back in the late 80s – early 90s two kids wouldn’t have seen any trailers about films like this, and we certainly didn’t have google. So we literally were going in blindly, not even knowing what the film was about.

Antony’s grandma sat there obliviously knitting by lamplight whilst we got our pop and crisps out, and switched off the ‘big’ light, got cuddled up in front of the TV set and pressed play. It was amazing. It was the scariest most horrifying thing we had ever seen, several times we screamed and covered our eyes, and as things escalated I remember we submitted and shouted to Grandma to ‘turn it off turn it off!!’ she did and eyes wide we discussed how good it was but far too scary to watch the rest. I think I had nightmares that night. We would only completely watch the rest of Evil Dead when we were 16.

So Horror was my life now, whether it was sitting religiously every week, watching the latest horror-based TV programme, or reading the latest horror fiction, researching true ghost stories, or watching the latest Horror film as soon as it came out. Horror was my true love and it would never go away.

 

30 Years later I am still obsessed, a couple of years ago I suffered with my own mental health, and had to take time off work. I eventually went to see a counsellor, and one session covered how I should take time out for myself, and do something I love. I told her, felling a little embarrassed, that I loved nothing more than to watch a good horror (or a bad horror – I would still give it a try) I kind of expected her to say ‘oh no, that’s the last thing you want to do – you need to start meditating or going for a run’ but she didn’t, and to my surprise she responded with ‘Horror is a great outlet for you, if its something you love and enjoy then it cannot be doing you any harm, keep doing it’

So I did. I regularly get told by my Mum that I should watch something, fluffy and nice, something about love, or romance or a feel-good film. (please note I do love thrillers, comedies and other genres too) but I tell her, NOTHING beats a Horror film, nothing beats a scare or the goosebumps on your skin when you watch a film that scares the hell out of you.

It was other people who commented that I should review the Horror that I watch (because I watch so many) and share it on social media, which is how ‘Little Psycho’ was born. A way I could briefly give my opinion to whoever may be reading, about horror/thrillers that I got to see. I have always dreamt of writing and I have thought about many ideas for a good book over the years, covering a range of topics. However, as the saying goes….’write what you know’ and one thing I certainly know….is what scares me!! Maybe one day that horror novel/story will come to me and I will be able to share it with the world, maybe not. However nothing, and nobody will quell my passion for the genre. I am a proud woman of horror, and even when I am 100 I will still be loading up whatever device may exist, with the latest Horror film, popcorn in hand, scaring myself silly.

 

 

 

 

Sarah

@Illberightbackk

Little Psycho

 

Sarah

Lover of all things horror; films, books, podcasts etc etc Enjoy true crime stuff and anything to do with serial killers or criminal psychology... Films I love; Pet Sematary, Hellraiser, Nightmare on Elm Street, Ju-on The Grudge, Conjuring, Changeling, Hostel, Saw.......so many I have prob forgotten :)